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Hockey, Twitter

Valeri Bure’s Big Day

by Aidan Brand and Tyler Rowe

Friday, April 6 is a big day for Valeri Bure. It’s his famous wife Candace Cameron’s birthday.

It’s his even more famous Lord and saviour’s, um, well, day of crucifixion.

Hot cross buns

But most significantly for us at Smug Nation, it’s the day he decided to invite the onslaught of Canucks fan persecution that comes with any tweeted slight of the team, with a seemingly innocuous prediction.

If there was ever a day for turning the other cheek, this might have been it. But orcas only turn their cheeks when its a more convenient way to devour otters. Many Canuck fans sprang to action, demanding an explanation. Val had some very well-thought-out arguments.

Some salient questions were raised. One of the main one’s being, “Is Val’s twitter avatar an old picture?” It seems like he’s trying to tell us he’s gained weight through that many-chinned smiley.

Of course, there’s always somebody who goes straight for the “put your money where your mouth is” jugular.

Others chose a slightly less defensible tact, the old “you’re not really qualified to comment since you’re a loser” argument. Fortunately for Val, “money, it’s a gas”. And if there’s one kind of fan we want representing us, its the best kind; the kind with a “tuzzi”-suffixed twitter handle.

I’m starting to think two things. 1) That Val doesn’t have a great argument for what he thinks, and that 2) he’s a pretty nice guy.

I take it back. Here at Smug Nation, we know that the only time you say sorry is when you’re telling your opponent that you’re sorry that they’re so wrong. What a jerk.

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About aidanbc

Aidan has been a Canucks fan for (just) over 20 years. It was a 11-0 Vancouver victory over the trashy Calgary Flames on March 1, 1992 that made him realize this was the team for him. When not yelling at Henrik to shoot, Aidan can be found completing his graduate studies in Advanced Bureaucratic Red Tape and Pencil-Sharpening.


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